Grumbrum live in cave. Cave pretty. Sparkle much. Really pretty! Little men come in cave! They poke Grumbrum with tiny hammers. Legs hurt. Stupid little men--dwarves. Dwarf soup delicious. Grumbrum happy. Long time come since Grumbrum have soup. Grumbrum hungry. He go out of cave. He miss cave! Little men throw wooden sticks at Grumbrum.... Continue Reading →
The Unintentionally Helpful Villain, Vol. 09 – Volunteers
Diary Entry #0170 Mine power sizzles and crackles with a terrible itch to be used. But I mustn't allow myself any distraction for the chase grows ever closer and more heated. Strange, this heat; unnatural, even. Almost does it remind me of...but no, it cannot be. Great challenges did we overcome since the foul princeling's... Continue Reading →
The Unintentionally Helpful Villain, Vol. 08 — No Patricide goes Unpunished
Read the previous Volume here. Diary Entry #0160 I am told that I have entered the first of many identical free human kingdoms. This one shares a border with mine lands. That is what makes it special. Bah, humans are strange folk. So glad am I that I no longer fill their ranks that I could incinerate a... Continue Reading →
Ten Things I’d do if I were a Vampire Lord!
The connection between a vampire and his progenitor is a sacred one, akin to that between a parent and a child. Naturally, I began plotting the murder of my maker in order to claim his influence and authority for myself as soon as I was turned...once I were to get my predatory instincts under control... Continue Reading →
The Unintentionally Helpful Villain, Vol. 07 – The Importance of Communication
Diary Entry #0150 Five days I have been on the road with a band of mine cohorts. Good servants, my companions -- many of them come from those Libraries whence I put them, to study arcane arts and divination during those most foul attacks of the Council of Darkness. They have proven useful with their... Continue Reading →
If I were an occultist in a Lovecraftian world…Volume 02
Catch up here. Where last I left off, horror had nestled itself deep within my heart. My associates had contacted me, not as individuals were prone to do but as a group, in one collective voice, a cold, inhuman thing. Speech of such otherworldly nature as to leave no doubt within the depths of my... Continue Reading →
The Unintentionally Helpful Villain, Vol. 06 – Patronage
Diary Entry #0142 Over two weeks have come to pass since the Council of Darkness spun tail and ran off to the South. While I commanded a few efretti -- fire demons, native to the far-off lands of Bazrah -- to snap at the enemy's heels, 'tis not my intent to defeat the Council as... Continue Reading →
Ten Things an Inquisitor would do in a fantasy world filled with evil, vile, no-good things (#1 of the Crossleg’d Chronicles)
Be warned! The following Inqusitorial Scripture takes place in the world of The Unintentionally Helpful Villain and, quite possibly, of a few other entities I have written about, in this here blog. In a world filled with a host of monsters, demons and an entire Council of Darkness, Brezt Khleid, Inquisitor of the First Order,... Continue Reading →
The Grimoire Reliquary 