Work on my reputation. Mercenaries are, by far and large, despised for their tendency to, er, switch sides at the slightest bit of trouble. But there's good money to be earned when you're known for loyalty, 'specially when you've got the employer to appreciate it. Never leave a job unfinished and a commision incomplete. Staunchness is... Continue Reading →
My Top Ten New Year Resolutions!
Happy New Year to all you lovely people! May it bring you good cheer, brilliant books and more experiences worth remembering than not. If you've followed my blog, you might know by now that I love making Top Ten lists. This time, I thought I'd make a post exclusive to the New Year! Here goes:... Continue Reading →
(Top) Ten Things I would do if I were a Sentient Sword in a Fantasy Setting
Another Monday, another Top Ten List! I've been reading and thinking about magical weapons, sentient swords, talking scythes and so decided to do another one of my favourite little lists! If I get an arsehole of a wielder, I'm going to pretend that I'm just your normal, every-day magical sword. No sign of sentience from... Continue Reading →
Ten Things I would do if I were a Surgeon in a Grimdark Fantasy Setting, Part 01
Bullets! Forty years I have watched as military arts evolved, changing the balance between all those different peoples who move in and out of the Barrowlands, bringing with them an ever-more complex array of ranged weaponry. These...guns, as they are called, are fascinating contraptions; I have seen a squadron of ill-prepared mages ripped apart under a single round of... Continue Reading →
Ten Things I would do if I were a Scarred, Self-Proclaimed King
This is a continuation of the Dazzlingly Hot Prince in a Fantasy Realm! post. After the good fortunes that came to shine upon our Dazzlingly Hot new King, his successful spree came to a screeching halt, when a Dark Lord entered the lands. A short skirmish ensured, during which Lerik--the new King-- thought the battle his; that... Continue Reading →
Ten Things I would do if I were a Cave Troll!
Grumbrum live in cave. Cave pretty. Sparkle much. Really pretty! Little men come in cave! They poke Grumbrum with tiny hammers. Legs hurt. Stupid little men--dwarves. Dwarf soup delicious. Grumbrum happy. Long time come since Grumbrum have soup. Grumbrum hungry. He go out of cave. He miss cave! Little men throw wooden sticks at Grumbrum.... Continue Reading →
Ten Things a Moderately Influential Warlord does!
A moderately influential warlord is only as influential as he is capable at the task of carving up his colleagues, i.e. other warlords. This one would be one hell of a stickler for the collegial spirit; and when I say that, I mean that his belief in killing warlords in order to consume their spirit is... Continue Reading →
The Unintentionally Helpful Villain, Vol. 08 — No Patricide goes Unpunished
Read the previous Volume here. Diary Entry #0160 I am told that I have entered the first of many identical free human kingdoms. This one shares a border with mine lands. That is what makes it special. Bah, humans are strange folk. So glad am I that I no longer fill their ranks that I could incinerate a... Continue Reading →
Top Ten Things I would do if I were a Dazzlingly Hot Prince in a Fantasy Realm!
Look at my reflection on every possible orifice in my luxurious manor or castle - mirror, guard armor, pond - you name it, if it reflects my face, I will stare at it for hours! Save any and every helpless princess I can find *authorly groan*, marry her and consecutively order her assassination. I am... Continue Reading →
Ten Things I’d do if I were a Vampire Lord!
The connection between a vampire and his progenitor is a sacred one, akin to that between a parent and a child. Naturally, I began plotting the murder of my maker in order to claim his influence and authority for myself as soon as I was turned...once I were to get my predatory instincts under control... Continue Reading →