New body, new set of rules! Let’s start off with movement. Nope, moving on four legs isn’t as easy as it looks. Why am I going to that hole? Wha—No, stop it! LEGS! LEEEEE— New management. I was a freelance lich in my last incarnation, but this time around…demon lords are all the buzz!... Continue Reading →
Sunday Fantasy Flirting, Vol. 02
Sundays are for...*looks around*...finishing yet another volume of Sandman, and for doing laundry, and even for spending time with your loved ones. *Puts desiccated family heads back in cabinet* Anyway, Sundays are also for awful flirting lines. Trust me, I know. Here are five fantasy ones! My Flaming Sword burns ever-brighter near your biter. Is... Continue Reading →
Top Ten Things I would NOT do if I were a lich
Regret my past life as a miserly old wizard. Screw that guy, he dead! No time will be spent in moral considerations, akin to (but not excluded to): “Is necromancy evil? Is angering the gods of death wise, in any world, including this one? How can my apprentices possibly be this useless, even as reanimated... Continue Reading →
The Unintentionally Helpful Villain, Vol. 3 — Education
Diary Entry #0099 My capital is under siege. Seven Dark Lords and their armies are upon me and mine, and much malice is in their hearts. Even more malice is in their sharpened blades, but that seems secondary to me. The blades are almost as tiny as the corpses of my soldiers that they’re stuck... Continue Reading →
Writing Advice: Consistency
Laziness is the enemy of every aspiring writer. Take me, for example: I almost didn’t write today’s entry; I’m too busy, I’ve done so much today, I’m so exhausted, it’s four in the bloody morning. Excuses, excuses. Don’t listen to those. Pick up the pen. Press the keys on your keyboard. Write. Consistency is much... Continue Reading →
Top Ten Things I would do if I were a lich!
I would get me a nice little ice cave, with loads of stalagmites, stalactites and the skulls of my long-dead apprentices and army comrades. I would begin raising my apprentices from the dead. They were an incompetent bunch in life—doesn’t mean that they have to remain useless in death. I would discover that death really... Continue Reading →
Sunday Flirt, Vol. 01 (Five Fantasy Pick-up Lines)
Sundays are for gaming, long days at the beach, longer lunches with the family, and bloody torturous monologues! They’re also the perfect time for pick-up lines. Not any pick-up lines, but fantasy ones; and not good ones, either. No, those are bad pick-up lines. Horrible, horrid old things… Enjoy five of them at a time,... Continue Reading →
Top Ten Things I would NOT do if I were a wizened old wizard
I would NOT mean to harm anyone with my illusion spells…It would just sort of happen. No one’s to blame, really. I would NOT cross bridges if I had the choice. These things are dangerous – shoddy masonry, demonic infestations, not to mention the rotting wood…I just don’t trust any of it. I would NOT... Continue Reading →
Spotlight Thursday: Uprooted
There is something about the woods, some primordial fear that has been nagging away at all of us, at the entirety of humanity, long before we learned to create fires, long before we began making tools; a fear that's been with us since our very inception, as evident in that most precious of folklore -... Continue Reading →
